Guardian - another poem

Poem for Creative Writing. Based on this photograph: http://www.keithberr.com/Keith_Berr_Productions/Production_Photography/Personal_Work_Portfolio/Ruins_and_Life/Gopura.jpg ---------------------------------------
Guardian
I want to see what you see,
the forgotten,
the distant.
Fading into memory and crumbling into dust,
succumbing to defeat yet never uttering complaint.
Why don't you speak up?

A haunting image of
beauty on the cliff side of heaven on earth. A
patchwork of stone defining those eyes, those lips -
resilient guardians of the vast unknown.

What have you seen?
So much beauty and pain over centuries of regard.
So still and silent,
alluringly ominous in your carved perfection.
There is so much more for you to see.

Breathtaking and humble,
I am envious of you,
waiting for the wind to
breathe life into your eyes again.

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Input please? Printing it for class soon. Ha. <3

Red & White Perfection

So this is my first official poem for my Creative Writing class! Now, as a note, I am not a poet. I do not pretend to be a poet. I am use to narrative writing where I'm not limited to fewer lines and less detail! Haha. First is the original draft, and then the rewrite based on the comments during the workshop today. Tell me what you think! For all of you girls from Elyria, give me a guess as to what this is about.
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Red & White Perfection

My arm had never looked more beautiful
Than it did that day.
My first corsage sat tied on my wrist
With delicate ribbons
Feather light petals kissing my skin.
The pure white carnation smelled so sweet
Made only more beautiful by the red bows
A combination of colors so fitting for the day.
For once I did not regret that this sight
Of perfection on my wrist was new.
Today was a long awaited and bittersweet goodbye
Leaving behind those peers of youth.
I smile and think of all the joys of that day
The pride of moving forward
And still too naïve for remorse.

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Red & White Perfection

My arm had never looked more beautiful
than it did that day.
My first and only corsage sat tied on my wrist
with delicate ribbons,
feather light petals kissing my skin.
The pure white carnation smelled so sweet
made only more beautiful by the red bows,
a combination of colors so fitting for the day.
For once I did not regret that this sight
of perfection on my wrist was new.
The bitterness of having lacked such a sight
in the past and in the usual way
was nowhere to be found.
My teacher handed me the flawless piece,
not a boy,
and for that I was strangely moved.
Today was a long awaited and bittersweet goodbye,
leaving behind those peers of youth.
I smile and think of the joys,
the laughter and already fading memories,
the pride of moving forward
and still too naïve for remorse.

Poem

This poem is based on the second free write I did a few days ago. I haven't gone over it, this is the first draft, so yeah. Take a look and see what you think ^^;

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Out of all the people in this crazy school, of course he’s the one I notice.
Of course he is the one who I can’t stop thinking about,
the one who’s face lingers in front of my eyes like a bug you can’t swat.
Here I am again, yearning for what I can’t have.
Sometimes you just are not allowed to want a certain guy,
you are not allowed to dream about them and pray that they see you.
Your best friend’s boyfriend is at the top of that list.

And here I am! Wanting him, just as I shouldn’t.
Its not like I planned this or even want things to be this way.
I hated him at first, thought he wasn’t good enough for her.
But he grew on me, becoming a true friend, someone I could trust.
He never judged me, helping me for my sake and not to impress his girl.

I’m not sure which of those words burns my tongue the most.

And now they are worried, wondering why I am avoiding them so desperately,
hiding from them and finding excuses to keep away.
“Don’t worry, he’ll come around,” I hear her telling him.
Ha!
If only she knew.
If only she knew that secretly I longed to take him from her,
to make him want me instead.
If only she knew.

I want to ignore it, to move on and let him go.
He’s just another guy, another stupid guy… but
I can’t stop wondering if he feels the same.
I catch him looking at me, and I know that look.
Is he embarrassed?
Ashamed?
Am I just an idiot reading too much into the glances of a silly boy
gazing across the room at a friend?

I probably am.
No, I definitely am.
I have to keep my distance, to stay away a little longer.
Eventually I’ll come around, I’ll forget him.
What’s a little heartbreak of my own, if it means sparing her that pain?
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Short Free Write 3

If you have read any of my past entries, you might be able to guess who this is.
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I wish I could tell her everything. I want nothing more in this world and the next than to sit her down and tell her all about me, to reveal these secrets and show her the truth. I know that becoming attached to her was foolish. It has compromised my work and worst of all, it has brought her into things I had no right to involve her in. How do I explain to her that she is in danger because of me? That it was not her brother that brought me to them that day, but that it was her I was seeking out? How can I possibly expect her to understand? She would never forgive me for pulling her into a world that she was happier, safer, without.

There are times when I wonder if I made the right choice. I’m not sure which decision this applies to for there are many times over the many years of my existence that I now look back and nearly regret. Had I changed one thing, she would be safe, living a happy life without the chaos of my world pulling her in. I can see it in her eyes. She is curious, captivated. Perhaps if I hadn’t taken this job, or if I hadn’t returned last year, she wouldn’t have been given a glimpse of this fantasy, or what she perceives as fantastic. She is naïve and doesn’t know what she is seeing. It is not the dream she envisions and keeps prying towards. I feel like I can not deny her the truth, I wish that I could speak to her honestly. My God knows how much I want this. But is it fair to her? To let her taste this world she longs for knowing that it will not be the heaven she expected, and that I have to deny her it?

Short Free Write 2

When is it going to end? The pain and worry and heartache. Why do I find myself wishing I really were as numb as they say? Maybe then all of this wouldn’t hurt, that their accidents wouldn’t mean so damn much. I know what they say about me when they’re not afraid I’m listening. They think I’m cold, that I truly lack any real emotion other than anger and resentment. They take this stony exterior and believe it is my only face. But that is what I wanted, right? I wanted that distance, that fear. Its done a pretty good job at keeping them away so far. Its what I wanted. Its what I still want! I don’t need them, any of them. I only need my real friends, my family. The ones I love above all else and the ones who always seem to be the ones who regardless of how strong they are break and fall apart, lying in some bed one way or another and it breaks my heart. I can not just sit here and watch them suffer like this. I feel pain. I cry and scream and love and hate. Why can’t they see that? God, why do I even care what they see? My energy should not be wasted on my foolish peers, it should be spent helping my friends, helping to hold them up and to fight through whatever damned obstacle is working to keep them down. I shouldn’t be sitting here pitying myself and worrying about my own silly problems. I have to be there for them, for the ones that matter. I need to ignore the ones who don’t, because they aren’t worth my time. They want anger? I’ll show them anger. I’m angry that it is these strong people who are continuously forced to their knees while people like Iz McCarthy keep living in so-called perfection. They would be smart to realize how much I am capable of feeling, because trust me, they don’t want to see me angry.

Short Free Write

This is the first of a few free writes I did today. Each free write is from a different point of view from a character of mine. I am not going to give you any other information on any of the characters except for that. Not age, gender, anything about their personality, etc. I would absolutely love it if people would leave comments telling me what their guesses are about the character and what is going on. =] It would really be powerful feedback for me. Thanks guys, and enjoy!!
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Why him? How him? God, of all the people in this crazy school how is he the one I notice? Why is he the one I can’t stop thinking about when he’s not around? And why am I always asking myself so many god damn questions about the exact same things? I hate this, I promise you I do. There are a few things in high school that you just don’t do, and falling for your best friend’s boyfriends is one of them.

Its not like I planned this, or even want it! I didn’t even like the guy at first, I thought he was a prick and even tried to convince her not to date him. I admit, though, that he eventually grew on me. I came to consider him a friend, someone I could trust. He never judged me. I knew he was genuinely interested in befriending me and not just to impress his girlfriend. God, I don’t know which of those two words I hate most.

Now I have them worried about me. I can’t say I blame them. I go from being just another part of the gang to avoiding him at all costs. I knew that they all noticed. I heard her tell him, “Don’t worry, he’ll come around.” Ha! If only she knew. If only she knew I was secretly attracted to her boyfriend, that just being around him made my head spin and my heart race. If she knew, I’m sure she’d be singing a different tune.

I would try to ignore it, to move on and let it go, but I can’t stop wondering if he feels the same. I know its foolish and just plain stupid. He’s with her! Of course he isn’t interested in me! And yes, there are times when I catch him looking at me across the room, and I can just feel it. Is he embarrassed? Ashamed? Or am I reading too much into this again? For now I’ll just keep my distance, bit my tongue and ignore it. I’d rather break my own heart than her’s.